Discussing dementia with a loved one can be emotional. The conversation may be filled with love, concern, and often, uncertainty.
How do you tell someone they have dementia? How do you explain the need for memory care without causing fear or distress? How do you talk to your parent about their dementia diagnosis?
At The Kensington Sierra Madre, we understand the weight of this conversation and the importance of approaching it with sensitivity and kindness.
Our mission is to be your partner in this journey, ensuring your loved one receives the best care without moving as their needs change.
This guide will help you navigate the conversation with empathy, provide actionable steps for care planning, and show why The Kensington Sierra Madre is the best choice for memory care.
Understanding the right time to talk
Timing is everything when discussing dementia.
The sooner you begin the conversation, the more involved your parent can be in the decision-making.
Signs it may be time to talk about memory care include:
- Increased forgetfulness (missing appointments, repeating questions, misplacing items)
- Difficulty managing daily tasks (cooking, personal hygiene, paying bills)
- Changes in mood or personality, or social withdrawal
- Wandering, confusion, or getting lost in familiar places
- Difficulty recognizing familiar faces or places
- Increased safety concerns (leaving the stove on, forgetting to lock doors, or getting lost while driving)
Start preparing for an open and compassionate conversation if you notice these early signs of dementia.
Once you’ve discussed your observations with your parent, you can take them to their doctor for a proper diagnosis.
How to sensitively tell someone they have dementia
Breaking the news about dementia requires patience and empathy.
It’s essential to approach the conversation with kindness, reassurance, and a focus on support rather than just the diagnosis itself.
Below are key strategies to make a conversation about dementia with your parent more comfortable.
Choose a calm and familiar environment
Select a quiet, comfortable place where your loved one feels safe. Avoid noisy or unfamiliar environments that may cause confusion or distress.
If able, include siblings, your other parent, or other family members that your parent feels comfortable with, but avoid overwhelming them.
Speak with love and honesty
Use simple and straightforward language. Instead of saying, “You have dementia,” you might say:
“We’ve noticed you’ve been having trouble remembering things lately. We want to help you stay as independent as possible.”
Seniors often fear losing their independence. Reassure them that the goal is to support their well-being, not take away their autonomy.
- “We want to ensure you have everything you need to stay happy and healthy.”
- “You’re not alone in this—let’s explore options together.”
This approach acknowledges their struggles without causing fear or resistance.
Focus on their feelings, not just facts
Rather than overwhelming them with medical details, focus on their emotions.
For example:
- “I know this is hard to hear, but we’re in this together.”
- “We want to make sure you’re comfortable and safe.”
Acknowledging their emotions fosters trust and eases anxiety.
Instead of saying, “You’re forgetting things a lot,” try: “I’ve noticed you’ve been having some challenges lately. How can we help?”
Involve a trusted doctor or specialist
Having a doctor explain the diagnosis can provide credibility and reassurance.
Sometimes, hearing it from a professional makes acceptance easier.
Allow time for processing
Your loved one may react with denial, frustration, or sadness. These feelings are common.
Give them space to express their feelings and reassure them they are not alone.
If they reject the idea of memory care or even refuse to acknowledge something is wrong, avoid arguing. Instead, revisit the conversation later and reemphasize your concern for their comfort, care, and safety.
Discuss transitioning to a memory care community with your parent
Moving to memory care is a significant transition. If your parent has been in your family home their whole lives, this can be especially difficult for them.
Here are some ways to make their move as smooth as possible.
Frame moving as a positive change
Instead of saying, “You have to move because of your dementia,” say:
“We’ve found a wonderful place where you’ll have the support you need and still enjoy your favorite activities.”
The Kensington Sierra Madre offers three levels of memory care, specifically designed to provide holistic care while maintaining independence and providing engaging activities.
Emphasize the benefits
Talk about the aspects they’ll love:
- Engaging activities and social opportunities
- Safe, comfortable environment
- Personalized care tailored to their needs
Involve your parent in the process
Take them on a community tour, introduce them to the team, and highlight familiar comforts like their favorite meal on the dining menu.
The Kensington Sierra Madre team can help guide families through this transition with warmth and understanding.
Make the move feel like home
Bring familiar items like favorite blankets, pictures, and personal belongings to ease the transition.
Provide reassurance
Let them know they are not being abandoned but are instead moving to a place where they’ll receive the best care tailored to their needs.
Additionally, let them know that you’ll have more time now to focus on making memories with them when you visit rather than having to provide care.
Next steps: Creating a dementia care plan
Once the conversation has started, it’s time to plan for the future.
Key steps for care planning include:
- Consulting with healthcare professionals: Get a complete medical evaluation and recommendations, including medications.
- Exploring memory care options: Look for compassionate, all-inclusive communities like The Kensington Sierra Madre that offer customized care.
- Legal and financial planning: Discuss power of attorney, advance directives, and financial arrangements.
- Building a support system: Connect with family, caregivers, and dementia support groups.
- Creating a daily routine: Establish a structured yet flexible schedule that includes familiar activities, meals, and rest to help reduce confusion and anxiety.
Why The Kensington Sierra Madre is the best for memory care
At The Kensington Sierra Madre, we believe in loving care that never stops.
We specialize in all levels of memory care, from early-stage support to advanced dementia care.
Our community is designed to provide exceptional care and a true sense of home, warmth, and belonging for every resident and their family.
Families choose The Kensington Sierra Madre because:
- Personalized, 24/7 care: Our dedicated team tailors support to each resident’s unique journey and is continuously trained in new care strategies.
- Engaging activities: From art therapy to music programs, we ensure every day is meaningful for residents.
- Safe, comfortable environment: Secure surroundings are designed for memory care needs, including technology to prevent wandering.
- Compassionate team: Team members are trained to provide gentle, dignified care like family.
We’re here to provide guidance, reassurance, and unwavering support every step of the way.
Contact The Kensington Sierra Madre to learn more about our memory care community, services, caregiver resources, and events.